3 years later

Wow!!!  This very thing was on my mind again today.  As I was driving home from the chiropractor, I kept thinking that there must be so many other women that suffer the same obstacles that I do in becoming healthier.

Since I last posted I have sold my store, moved half way across the country, become a full time step parent, bought a second home and tried multiple jobs that just didn't suit me.  So, you can see that I have had challenges!!

How have I dealt with those challenges and getting healthy at the same time?  Honestly, not very well.  As you might remember, I stated that food provided something for me other than nutrition.  Food provides for me emotionally.  And the last three years have been an absolute emotional roller coaster.  Some of the biggest ups and downs of my life!!

We bought a cute little condo in the mountains recently and I decided to spend the majority of my time there because it was inspirational and made me feel like I wanted to be healthier.  I found a fabulous little pilates studio that really made me feel inspired, strong and healthy.  Every class I took I felt energized.  But, as everyone who has every tried a pilates equipment class, they are expensive.  So, after about 6 sessions, I found myself worrying about the cost involved with the class.

I decided to try a class here in Charlotte.  Because the studio is much larger and more people are able to take a class at one time, they were slightly less expensive.  After one class I have back spasms that left me unable to catch my breath.  I think I pushed too hard trying to impress the young, super fit instructor.  That seems to be a recurring problem in me trying to get healthier.

I am embarrassed and humiliated every time I go into gyms with great lighting and mirrors every where.  Good Lord!!!  Every time I bend forward I catch a glimpse of that extra person I am carrying around in the middle.  I want to work hard and get rid of that big ol' tire, but do I have to do it in fluorescent overhead lighting with 20 foot mirrors surrounding me?

So, after loosing about 8 lbs I start falling back into old habits.  Last night for dinner I chose ice cream instead of the chicken that I had cooked.  Today, after a trip to the chiropractor, I am sore and thinking that this is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I mean, I was seriously thinking of running to Target and buying 10 pairs of black yoga pants.  They do seem to always fit!!

That's just not what I want in my life.  I read recently that yoga actually is the only exercise that a person needs.  The stress relief of yoga makes you not want to eat so much.  I wonder if it will make me not want chocolate too!!!  My husband bought me a gift certificate last Christmas (yes a full 8.5 months ago) for 10 yoga sessions.  I haven't gone because I wanted to lose weight before I put myself in front of other people bending and bulging all over the place.  Ironic, because if I had used the gift certificate then I probably would be as worried about the roll as I am now.

I think the next topic of conversation should be, "how little other people care about your roll."

May 8, 2009

Again, it was a tough day. Today was a little more emotional than the last week. I felt like things were really looking up and today got a little whammied. Felt pretty depressed this afternoon. I was starving when I left the store. That doesn't help. Gonna take this weekend to work on me...me...me!!

breakfast
2 rice thins with sunbutter and all fruit spread

triple venti soy latte

lunch/dinner
chic fil a sandwich and fries

Still craving sweets and didn't get enough water today.

My body is sooooo sore and I have a terrible headache. Good news, it didn't turn into a migraine. Bad news....just don't feel like doing anything. My right arm keeps going numb.

AHAAHAHHAAA!!!!

May 7, 209

I'll keep this short because it is actually May 8 that I am posting this. It all goes back to time and I still haven't figure anything out. Hopefully the weekend will give me a little time to make a plan.

breakfast
2 rice thins with sunbutter and real fruit spread

lunch
sonic burger and fries

dinner
chicken alfredo from pizza hut

I did want something sweet but resisted. Since I quit doing the green shake I have gotten the sweet tooth back....hmmmmm

May 6, 2009

This is the first day that I am blogging. My intention here is to provide as much insite as possible to the journey on my way to health. It's not that I am in poor health, but I know that I could feel better, be stronger and look better. All in all, these things would make me a much happier person.

But, for me it isn't as easy as saying, "okay, today is the day that I get myself eating better and exercising." I mean, the entire world knows that if you eat right and exercise you will be in better health than if you don't. But, I also know that there are a lot of people out there that are just like me. Food provides something other than nourishment and exercise is what you get when you have to take something up the stairs of your home. That's why I decided to go this route.

I am going to be open and honest here. I will have to look at what is going on in my life as it relates to food and exercise. With this blog I've given you carte blanche to look at my ups and downs and take this journey with me. I hope you find my trials, tribulations and comic approach to things interesting.

So here is my food journal for today so far (3:24 pm)

breakfast
8 oz. water
2 cups of coffee (about 24 oz total) with 1 cup of almond milk
1 boiled egg
1 banana nut bread GoRaw bar

snack
dozen wasabi and soy almonds

lunch
bag of Milano cookies (I know...what was I thinking!!)

dinner
chicken alfredo from Pizza Hut

dessert
rice krispy treat

Kind of sucks for a first attempt at getting healthy. I have to find a balance between time (or lack of) and my desire to be my best self.